I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
