Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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