matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
