Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
tell me about the fingering
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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