i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
