I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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