Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
