Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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