you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
