Porn is love you can see.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
