Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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