i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
