i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
