when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
