You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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