My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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