Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
