So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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