you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
