honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
