I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize