My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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