wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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