Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize