Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
