I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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