i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love having hate sex.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There's a naked man in my car right now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
