I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
