fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
