I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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