Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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