Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
