I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
