who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am naked and annoyed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
