just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
