if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
