i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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