im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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