I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
