it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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