i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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