so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
