It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
