I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
