All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dicks are not precious.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
