i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
