So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
