somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
