Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
