Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
