I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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