i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
