Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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