Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
