very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
