i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
