i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize