Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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