I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
