I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
