I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
