I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
