Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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