Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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