Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
