are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
