David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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