how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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