youre lurking in front of me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize