i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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